Maybe today, I should have left straight for school instead of trying to find the earphones. When I saw the stuff, I can say that I was emotionless. Is it because that I’m numb or what?

Maybe without me knowing, I’ve gotten used to it pretty much. I can’t say that I want to get used to it, but there’s no helping right? After all, not getting used to it makes my heart weaker against this sort of situations. Maybe it’s a natural mechanism that I have and need to protect my seemingly strong self. Sure, seeing those things affected me in some way, but it’s more towards the shock of me being emotionless about it. Maybe my previous wish came true J - I’m slowly becoming less human. Hurray for that. Keke.

Haha or is it that I’m thinking too much? Perhaps I’m not becoming less human, I’m just sealing up my heart again. Lol. Whatever the case is, this is probably for the better. I’ll graciously accept any ‘love’ whoever is important to me, gives to me. Let it be a fake, pretentious one or a true, unpretentious one. However, I will not count on it. As time passes, I’ve come to realize that I, and only I(and my dog), can be relied on with my life.

Someone told me that everyone will have at least one person who is willingly to die for them. Apparently, it was a result of some survey/research. I wonder how this research is. Haha. Is the research methodology even reliable? I doubt so. How do they ascertain the fact? Maybe by asking “Is there anyone you are willing to die for?” Most people would say yes without meaning it. If the research includes dogs, I might still believe it, at least a little. For all I know, no one will be willing to die for me, well maybe except my dog even though most people will not ‘qualify’ him as a human. Even if people don’t consider him as a human, I believe that dogs are more human than most people out there. Most people out there are just empty shells anyways.

Seriously, I don’t even know what the fuck I’m saying now. My brain is filled with CB. Don’t get me wrong. I meant Consumer Behavior! :P

ps. 不要跟我说哭出来会好过一点。因为，我哭不出来。

Edit: Well. Laogong and my darling GF is willing to die for me and i'm taking their word for it. it makes me happy to know that, but i definitely do not want them to die for me x_x